Aerosmith needs a singer!

So, you may have heard that Aerosmith needs a singer. Steven Tyler is out of a year because of: hip surgery, drug addiction, or his solo career. All of these are reasons he has given why he needs a year off. The rest of the band is not remotely tickled about this. See, apparently Steven decided not to tell his band any of this. Nope. He released all this info through press releases. Classy, huh? Imagine if your company had fired you. Even better, they haven't told you yet. Instead, they just sent a press release to the AP announcing you had been let go.

So, the band is right to be pissed. They are auditioning new lead singers just to be petty. So, I thought we should help them out. Needed: out of work, drug addled singers. Woo boy, there are plenty of them. How about:

  • Steven Page (Barenaked Ladies)
  • Trey Anastasio (Phish)
  • Dickey Betts (Allman Brothers)
  • Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots)
  • Pete Doherty (Babyshambles)
  • Amy Winehouse
  • Liam Gallager (Oasis)
  • Scott Stapp (Creed)
  • David Lee Roth * clean and sober, but still an douche!

the point being, the world is your oyster if you seek a lead singer at this time.

in closing, maybe that isn't Steven Tyler up there, but dude is no less creepy or over surgered than Tyler.


jme said…
What about one of the Jonas Brothers? That would help draw in a "New Generation" of fans. Or if they wanna go in a new direction... Lance Bass. I'd like to hear Annie Lennox sing... Dude Looks Like A Lady. Seriously... that's not a joke. Ian Astbury from The Cult is familiar with this kind of role/The Doors. In fact... he's probably in a bar right now claiming he IS the new lead singer for Aerosmith... and they'll be warming up for Led Zeppelin soon. Ellen Degenerous could also do it. I think she likes to dance and dress like Steven Tyler... so she's halfway there. She also has bigger balls than Tyler.
kevin c ruberg said…
is that neil diamond or rod stewart ...once upon a time rod was the lead singer for small faces and jeff beck..away back in the 1970's...they could just get a leftover animitron from disney world and/or mick jagger could fake it
Lono said…
bonus creepy update, he left his band to join American Idol. Of course, he didn't tell the band this before he did it.

what's worse? It is their 40th anniversary.

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