John Lennon > arsonist?

editors note - this is a re-work of something I wrote for my other site a few years ago.

Was John Lennon an arsonist?

Well of course not. But did you know that happy little ditty 'Norwegian Wood' is about torching a girl's place? Let's take a look. We start when our protagonist, we'll call him John, hooks up with a girl and goes home with her
She showed me her room, isn't it good, Norweigan Wood. She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere.

So at this point he is sure is going to score, right? I mean, meets pretty girl and she invites him home. Not to mention, he is a friggin' Beatle. Surely dude is getting laid, right?
We talked until two, and then she said, it's time for bed.

Woo hoo! Thank god, I thought she was going to talk about furniture for another two hours. I mean, you really didn't bring home John Lennon (or anyone, for that matter) to talk about furniture, right? However, our hero John does not end up in her bed. Instead

I went off to sleep in the bath

The bath? Really? So, not even a sofa or a sleeping bag? See, I was kinda thinking you would get all freaky on me and then I would crash on your beautiful and prized norwegian wood four post bed. Then it gets worse, when we wakes up, she is long gone
and, when I awoke I was alone, this bird has flown

You are kidding me? The babe invites you home from the bar to talk about couches, tells you to sleep in her bathroom, and now she is gone. WTF? So what does our boy Johnny do? What would you do? Johnny torches the place!
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, Norweigan Wood
Yeah, her prized furniture that she bragged about to him... burned baby. Let this be a lesson ladies. Heather McCartney, I am looking in your direction. Buy life insurance, sweetheart!


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