Great Rock Myths

For some reason, I was thinking today about all the great whoppers I have heard regarding rock stars. There are some great ones, and I wanted to share them with you. Now, there are many many many. The ones I am sharing are stories actually relayed to me as complete truth and in all seriousness. Let's start with the most famous:

Phil Collins was camping with friends. He saw some folks camping next to him and saw someone drown. What's worse, there was someone at the shore who let it happen >

Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend
But I don't know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been
It's all been a pack of lies

The story goes on about Collins inviting the dude to a show and debuting the song in front of him etc. Fact: never happened. The song is an analogy about his divorce.

This is one I heard when I was a young kid, heavy into the metal. I was told that before every concert, Ozzy Osbourne would pass around a bucket and order folks to pee/puke/whatever. He wouldn't start the show until the bucket came back full from the audience... and then would DRINK it.

Fact: Dunno. I haven't heard it repeated since I was about 12. I know enough about Ozzy and the law to tell you that never happened.

John Bon Jovi has AIDS, and that is why the band stopped touring on 'Slippery When Wet' even though it was still number 1. Well, Bon Jovi is still alive and quite healthy... so probably BS.

Dave Matthews has AIDS. You can tell because he has those lyrics about needle in the vain from 'Under the Table and Dreaming'. Fact, he does have lyrics about needle and vain, strongly implying heroin use. Since he is an artist, we will assume he can use creative license. Sorta like Ozzy sings about the devil, but is a better Christian than you... probably.

How about this? Marilyn Manson had a rib removed so he could fellate himself. Well, this seems amongst the most plausible knowing Manson. However, I still don't think it is possible, or every American teenager would be busting their ribs all over the place. Seriously, I was so goddamn horny as a teenager I would have taken a hammer to my chest if I thought it would help.

Couple of housecleaning items, if we are going to talk about these things. For example, most of the stuff you have heard about Ozzy is true. He did bite the head off a pigeon when meeting with his record company. He also really did bite the head off a bat onstage, accidentally. He also did get arrested for urinating on the Alamo while wasted... and in drag. Also, it is reported Ozzy snorted a line of ants while touring with the Crue. Yeah, I actually do believe that one too.

Come to think of it, why did I even mention the Phil Collins story? I could have just done a whole post on Ozzy mythology. Mythozzoly. Ozzylgy.


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