Barenaked Ladies & Steven Page... what are you waiting for?

                             

15 years ago, I wrote a piece here called ‘Never Say Never’.  The premise was all bands will get back together.  Barring death, of course. Back then, in 2004, I looked at the great white whales of broken bands:  Guns & Roses, and Pink Floyd.  It’s tough to say which guess was crazier.  Pink Floyd spent decades in court. Specifically, David Gilmour fought Roger Waters for the rights to the name.  This was an ugly and long battle. Still, I knew they would come back together. They did, since then, a whole bunch.

Then, I told you G&R would get back together.  Even though Slash & Velvet Revolver were a bi success (#1 album at the time I wrote that piece, in fact)... we all knew Slash & Axl could never be half as good apart as they were together.  Now, it’s been many years they have been back together. Very sad side note: they have been playing the same setlist since day 1 of reunion. Will they ever change the setlist? “Not in this lifetime!”. See what I did there?

Ok, who is left?  The Gallagher boys from Oasis?  I don’t even count that. I bet your ass that is not a feud still.  I bet they meet for beers monthly. How and why do I know this? Oasis broke up what 10 years ago?  How do they remain in the press EVERY SINGLE DAY? Collusion, that is how. Let’s hop over to NME.com (the British equivalent of Rolling Stone, but better regarded) and see what we can find.   Yup, here we go. Page one: some shit about Liam. Now, don’t believe me? No matter when you are reading this, hop over to NME.com (which I do religiously. Aside from their Gallagher obsession, they are top notch) and you will find a headline about either Noel or Liam.  My point being… they are just playing until someone offers 100 million to do the O2 for a week. Their ‘feud’ is a fraud!

So... what happens to break up the 'Ladies'?  Well, Steven (who was married until about 10 minutes after this little event) gets busted for coke.   How?   Well, that is just weirder.

Just after 2 a.m., Manlius officers on patrol found a car parked across the sidewalk
with its driver’s side door open outside the apartment. An officer looked up the 
license plate and saw it was registered to that address, Bleyle said.  As officers approached the house, they saw Page and Stephanie Ford, 25, at the kitchen table with a white capsule that later tested positive for cocaine

Right after this happens, Page leaves the group as a 'mutual parting'.   It still breaks my heart. I fully get why they had to do it, though. I guess it was the end of an era.  Remember what Doug Hopkins said after Gin Blossoms fired him (and right before he committed suicide'?  You don't, but I do. Hopkins said "I get why they fired me, but they didn't have to be so fucking brutal about it!".

Let's just look at the timeline here.  BNL is set to do a kids album (or had just done one) and booked a bunch of stuff with Disney.  During this exact period (a few months, I'll guess) he gets busted for coke... and cheating on his wife.  Kinda looks like the band choices were:  keep Steven and forego Disney money, fire Steven and pick up that cool 10 million.   Sorry Steven, they didn't choose you.  Ironic, isn't it?  "If I had a million dollars..." insert a million jokes here.  "I'd spend on hooker and blow... (if I had a million dollars) You'd be on a cruise but I couldn't go...

I have seen everyone in rock.  I have been to hundreds of national shows ("last count was about 250 in the last 20 years since we moved to Denver.  In the top shows of all the ones I have seen, Barenaked Ladies shows are always at the top.  First time I saw them, I only knew few songs, I left that show a lifelong fan.  Same thing happened with Pearl Jam.  There is no one better than BNL - Page & Robertson riffing and goofing together.

Ok, hold on and time out.  I went all Lono above and overstated the situation of them apart.  It is true that with them, one and one makes three. But here is proof each is amazing.  I say 'each' because we aren't talking about the rest of the band. We are talking about the power struggle of John & Paul, Mick & Keith, Axl & Slash, Don & Glenn, Lindsay and Stevie = Ed Robertson & Steven Page.


Here is what I mean by how good they are alone.  Here are some wonderful and kind of odd clips. The first series is Ed Robertson filming himself doing all their hits in his bathroom with an acoustic guitar.
The second piece is Steven Page wandering around in a park and singing his hits from the band.  Don't look at any stills. Its not good, he looks like a wandering hobo.  His voice is still just perfect.  You guys belong together!

Good news... they all are on some kind of speaking terms.  they appeared together last year and it was just perfect. Perhaps naively, we assumed they had kissed and made up and were ready to announce a tour.  Not yet, I guess. I can tell you, they WILL return together. When they do, I will be there. You should, too.

*** can I riff for a moment on that album cover up there at the top?  Apparently, they replaced it with this.  My brother Johnny turned me on to the band from this first album.  While I LOVE that album, and now regard it as a masterpiece, it took me a long time to listen to it.  Why? I guess you might call it homophobia. That album cover is SO gay. Not a little bit gay, either.  Not gay like 'hey its no one's business'. That, I agree with. This album cover was more like 'oh, there is a big ass Canada gay waive and we are coming for you... coming ON you!  You will ALL be gay when we are done. don't judge me, as everyone else clearly felt that way.  Here is the new cover of the first album.