Every album review ever written

Welcome to my first true piece for this site: What follows is every single album review you have ever read... ever. To simplify, we will call the fictitious tracks 1-12. This may also be a template for you if you are an aspiring music journalist.

_______ are back! With their new release, the band brings some focus and a classic touch to their 2004 release. Says lead singer "With this album, we really wanted to get back to our roots. We have learned so much, and there is all this great technology. In the end though, it has to come back to great music... and that is what we do best. We decided to produce the album ourselves." The disc starts out with an incendiary piece that isn't too far off from their 'Fire Dog' glory days. Track two was the first single released on the album last fall, and has brought a lot of the fans back into the fold". Fan 1 said "It's just how I remember them, what a great sound. You sure this isn't a bootleg from 10 years ago?

I thought the band broke up." Lead singer says "I know it may feel that way for the fans, but we never left". Drummer Zach said about the new disc "dude, it's fuckin' rocking. Seriously, I mean... fuckin' totally smokin'" (alright, I got off task on that last line, reader. But admit it, who doesn't love to make fun of drummers?). Track 8 is a rocker straight from bassist _________. This marks a departure from the classic writing team of singer _________ and guitarist_________. Says lead singer "We really wanted this to be from the whole band... for the fans." Track 10 is as beautiful and melodic as anything you remember from album 2. "We wanted to move forward, artistically, and still not lose touch with who we were... who we are!"

______ is rehearsing now and expect to launch a full scale summer tour. With the hugely publicized lawsuit finally behind them... lead singer says "I can't wait to get back out and connect with the audience. So much has changed for all of us over the years... but our relationship with them remains the same. To us, the audience is really the fifth member of the band." We asked lead singer how he felt about the recent resurgence in illegal downloading, but band publicist Nigel Nikelconter politely demurred form the question and spirited off lead singer to rehearsals.


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