Friday Fives

1. Worst. Book. Ever.
I am glad you asked. Because I have an almost completely useless degree in literature, I have read my share of turds. However, one always struck me as something so horrible that it deserves it's own paragraph right here and now. It was a book I was required to read for a modern literature class (well, this was about 1993-ish). This gem is called 'A Severed Head' by Iris Murdoch. The writing I guess was fine enough, I don't remember because it's been 10 years and I certainly have not revisited the book. The plot, wow the plot. Oh my god, the plot was the worst and most confusing piece of verbal diarrhea to be put to paper in the history of publishing (well, since the new testament anyhow). Reading it became laughable, because it read like a 'national enquirer'. The turns served no storyline purpose other than to titillate. But, at some point as the reader, I grew offended. I was offended the author would cough up such a hairball of foul mouse droppings at my feet and serve it to me with a straight face. I was just looking through all my books to see if I still had it, so I could regale y'all with a quote... but it is gone. Seems mean spirited, this piece... doesn't it. Yeah, well the author owes me, like, 10 hours of my life back.

2. If you pick three films that you love that no one else seems to know, what would they be?

Harold and Maude, first and foremost one of the greatest films ever! Funny, disturbing, and a top notch soundtrack by Cat Stevens.
Harvey - this is a 50's film featuring Jimmy Stewart as a terribly amicable drunk who keeps close counsel with a roughly 8 foot invisible rabbit named Harvey. The writing is great, the acting is top notch... and for an old black and white movie it is a timeless tale of character.
a Fish Called Wanda - this one isn't an unknown, but I feel that Kevin Kline's character in the movie (Otto) is the best piece of comedic character acting in the history of film. Dude won a best supporting actor for that role, and when was the last time you can remember a comedy winning anything at the Oscars?

3. What's the most unethical and/or illegal thing you ever got away with?
I'd have to think on that one, and I probably have some decent stuff repressed... so I will go with the fact that I have got behind the wheel more than once with too much to drink. It's more than stupid... it is super avoidable. I am learning from my mistakes as an adult... after watching about everyone I know getting one (a DUI). Update on that, just today Colorado lowered the legal limit for impairment from .1 to .08, which is closer in line with federal standards.

4. As usual, I'm running late for work. What do you do every morning before you leave home?
very little. I handle coffee and breakfast at work, and I get my music fix on the way to work. I do have a ritual though, will that do? As I hit the door every morning I do a little pat-down on myself to check for cell phone, sunglasses (prescription), security badge, wallet, and keys. With those few things I can do anything in the world.

5. Write a haiku about how hot you are. 5-7-5, right? Challenge accepted!
Holy Goddamn Shit
If anything look hot as me
no reason to live


Popular Posts